A Hard Road

It’s not as glamorous as you may seem to think.
It may seem all pretty,
it may seem like it’s a wonderful life that we have,
but it’s not.
It’s a hard road.
If there is anyway . . .
if I’d known what I know now,
I would trade in a second
to get back where I was as a child.

I would have gone back home
knowing now what I know.
It’s not been an easy road.
I’ve seen a lot of horrible things down here.
Experienced horrible things.
If you don’t have to,
don’t come here
don’t do drugs.
It takes pain away for a minute,
for whatever time that it is,
but the pain keeps coming back.
the memories
whatever it is that you are trying to forget
keep coming back
they are always with you.

Is there something specific you want to forget?

my childhood
the drugs numbed it


The Documentary

I hope that it reaches some kids.
If it helps even one kid, you know
stop them from coming down here,
it would make my heart just fill with joy.
It just kills me to see the young girls coming down here
So young, you know, like 12 years old, 13 years old
Out there on the street corners, you know
having to turn tricks for drugs
and for their pimps.
If it stops even one of them
from coming down here
and going back home,
that would make me happy.
It would have been all worthwhile.


Nowhere Fast

I just really hope that . . .
that they (kids) really think
I know it’s always hard when you are running away from home.
There’s a lot of pain.
There’s reasons why you don’t want to come home.
But let me tell you,
try to make it work out.
Talk to somebody to try to make things work out
Because nothing, nothing cud be worse than being down here.
I mean, I was raped,
molested as a child when I was at home
and that’s nothing to me compared to being down here.
So if there is any way, please
do whatever you can to work it out
because there isn’t a life down here
You just die
You just end up going nowhere, fast.

Keep one day at a time
And that’s no AA, that’s just me
That’s the only way I can do it for now
it keeps me going.



Black and white photos by Chris Young.

copyright 2001:  Ellavon: An Ezine of Basic Culture and Kat Kosiancic